Going up ...

I do not like elevators. Actually I'm very scared of elevators.** The hotel has a set of three elevators. Yesterday, on our way back down after our early morning gym session; where Tinus does his running on the treadmill, and I have a smoke by the pool, the middle elevator was a gaping hole with workmen and wires poking out the door. About an hour later, back from dropping Tinus off at work, I pressed the button to summon the elevator - and the middle one showed up. 

I bravely entered, trying very hard not to think of THE GAPING HOLE ... the doors slid closed behind me with an ominous hum ... and nothing happened. I stood there clutching my cell phone, wondering who on my contact list will be able to get to me in the shortest amount of time while chanting "I am a hollow reed" in my head. The fact that I experienced no immediate sensation of plummeting down THE GAPING HOLE made me feel considerably stronger and I decided to try and reach the 'doors open' button from where I was clinging to the railings. (Have you ever asked yourself why they have railings in elevators?) As I reached over and pressed the 'doors open' button, it lit up - making the fact that there are no other button lit, stand out.  I never pressed the button to make the elevator go up.

This made me think of a moment by the Merry Widow when a friend asked me what I wished for in Dubai: A good school for the kids where they would be happy and have loads of friends; a lovely villa with enough space for the puppies to play and for Tinus to be really happy in his job. No, she said; what do YOU want... What do I want - recognition? Acknowledgement? The perfect cup of coffee? In all honesty the only truly meaningful thing that I can think of at the moment is to have the ones I love to be happy. I'm still not sure, isn't it ok to get your happiness from others' happiness? A long time ago I explained to someone why I think it's good to be selfish: If you're happy, it's much easier to make those around you happy. But then if the ones around us are happy, its so much easier for us to be happy, isn't it? 

 Wishing is a big thing - and difficult - this is why there are always limits on wishes. If you had ONE wish, that WILL come true - immediately - what would you wish for?  Tinus is on the plane back to South Africa right now. I know he is very disappointed and frustrated. So naturally my one wish will be for him. Now to find the the perfect phrase: My one wish, is that Tinus is completely healthy ... - no, won't work, it leaves the potential for him to become infected... My one wish, is that Tinus is completely healthy and will... - no, won't work, "and" implies two wishes ... My one wish, is that Tinus will test negative for ... - no won't work, he can still become infected after the tests, get back here, and then test positive... You get my point, truly there is only one way to wish - for all of us: My one wish, is that things are exactly as they must be. If you think about it, we don't need to wish this, because this is how things are, exactly as they must be.  We don't understand why, but this is the way it is.  A bit like standing in a dark  elevator, without going anywhere.  

So I choose to press the button marked "Happiness" - going up ...   

 **I looked it up and there isn't a phobia name for fear of elevators. It either falls under acrophobia (fear of heights) or claustrophobia (fear of enclosed spaces). Sadly, for those of us who are afraid of elevators, we suffer alone in the unnamed phobia world.