House hunting in the UAE

 One of the most difficult things about living in the UAE is the communication barrier.  Almost everyone here speaks English, but one can be in a conversation with a person for 45 minutes before you realize the person you are talking to  actually have no idea what you are talking about.  A heady mix of Arabic, Urdu, Tagalog with some Tamil for flavouring is what you need to be able to speak to the man in the street.  For example; the expression “Ha” can mean any of the following; Good morning/ evening / afternoon; I beg your pardon; How can I help you; This one here … etc.  Much like the South Africa word “Eish” but you wouldn’t want “nog enetjie” with this one.  

In a city where the average house has seven bedrooms and gardens are paved in marble we are looking for a modest family home with a big yard for the rest of our pack - a black could-be-Burmese called Tanzanite and his two Basset body guards called Bridget and Brandon - still waiting in South Africa.   As with any other estate agent in the world, you are shown exactly what you don’t want.  We do not want to be in a compound, I would like to have a kitchen IN my house, and we really don’t need rooms for a driver, a gardener and a housekeeper outside the house as well.  And then of course there is the problem with the budget, some houses here are going for a mere AED 600 000 per year…rental. 

The challenge therefore is not only to find something you like, but also can afford.  After much getting in and out of the car in the gusting Shamal, up and down staircases of every look and design, we even climbed through a window once; the scrawny little Abdullah quite gallantly placed an upturned potted plant at the edge of the window for me to step on and offered me his broken arm to hang onto.  We saw splendor and squalor together in the same house, and houses so wide in spectrum – from still being built to glass and steel mansions and the in between ones which comes straight out of stories like The Secret Garden and Arabian nights.  But I do think we found one.  It’s called the Football Villa, because the two children’s rooms have football-shaped light fittings.  Its garden is still a mess – big holes and sand dunes, no shaded parking but it is brand new and best of all, something we like which we can actually afford!!

Now for the paperwork …